you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
