hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
