It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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