i was born a porn star she said
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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