Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
