got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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