i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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