Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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