I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
