I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
we're making bets on your personal life
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
