So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize