im six kinds of drunk right now
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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