I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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