She's JV to your varsity
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
