Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
