Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
