How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
