Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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