if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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