The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
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