Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
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she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
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Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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