I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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