No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
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He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
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Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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