Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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