Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
