Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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