I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
