If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Why is there bacon in the couch?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
