it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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