Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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