I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
