plz talk dirty to me
i think i have herpe
just one?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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