I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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