and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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