never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
