mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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