Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster