It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags