I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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