Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
