there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
