Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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