Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
