you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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