no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
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You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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