2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
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We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
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My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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