Soap is not a condiment
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
