she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
