I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
