she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
