Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Randomize
