I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
