I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
