I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
